Certain eras in time are marked by
certain mental stimuli. In our minds the
sights, sounds and vibes of the past can
become more vivid than they ever were
when recalled from the present.
Our
memories are funny that way. When
viewing the screening copy of “Unsung:
Miki Howard” my memory went to a place
of junior high school angst. A moment
nearly 25 years in the past when I first
heard Miki Howard flashed into my mind.
I saw her singing on “Soul Train” and
the voice, the lips, the cheek bones …
wow! A 12 year old boy in Trenton, NJ
was smitten with by a chocolate angel.
Yes, that’s how I remember it, but
after watching Howard tell her story on
TV One’s “Unsung” I realized this
heavenly body went through hell on
earth. Now her story is finally being
told.
“It was humbling, purging in fact.
The chance to just get it all out,” Miki
says when asked of her initial emotional
response to the show. “People say so
many different things. And I’m just
hopeful that now people will get a
chance to know and understand why things
went certain ways and why I may have
behaved a certain way. People are
critical and ridicule you for things and
they don’t even know what’s going on.”
This “Unsung” episode (which airs
tonight at 10pm Eastern on TV One) is,
like most of the others, a
self-contained work of art that is
designed to frame the life of a tragic
genius. Miki’s genuine pain is apparent
throughout the show, but she tells
EURweb.com’s Lee Bailey that she is over
the old pains now.
“I am a happy, wonderfully
enthusiastic woman,” said Howard. “I’m
in transit with life still, I am still
passionate about singing, I love it. I
am thrilled to look at my children, see
that they’re all grown up and doing well
for themselves. I mean what else is
there?”
In watching the drama filled show,
and listening to the testimony of her
loved ones, the impact all of the
turmoil had on Howard’s family was
apparent. It seems to resonate deepest
with her son Brandon, who is seen giving
an emotional testimony and stating his
disdain for those he feels have wronged
his mother.
“Of course he’s not healed,” said
49-year-old Howard. “That was traumatic
for my children and myself, but that’s
not his problem. He’s healing, but those
are not his problems. Those are my
problems. My children are grown people
and are doing their own thing now. It
was especially traumatic for him because
he’s in show business, he’s a producer.
He’s worked with a lot of people and
he’s been around. He’s heard people say
awful things (about me) when they didn’t
know he was my son. It was more
devastating for him, but he’s good.”
Miki Howard’s towering vocals are a
testament to growing up in a musical
household. She is the offspring of
Josephine Howard, of the gospel group
the Caravans, and Clay Graham of the
Pilgrim Jubilees. Both her mother and
father were gospel mainstays, and her
sister could hold her own as well.
Though Howard credits God with her
emotional resurrection, here’s what she
had to say when asked whether she would
consider singing gospel.
“I do gospel! Gospel is your life. I
don’t separate my life and church. I
grew up in that situation where people
lived one way and preached another,”
said Howard. “Well, I’m not perfect and
I’m not going to be perfect unless God
gives me some super-duper blessing that
makes me perfect. I feel like all my
songs are gospel, they are true. You can
apply them to God, you can apply them to
your love life, you can apply them to
yourself. The truth is the truth. Your
values, your morals, your spirituality.
You should live by that and not just
preach it. I’m not that person that’s
going to sing ‘I’m going up yonder’
because I don’t know. I don’t know where
I’m going. I don’t think I’m going to
hell, but then again my beliefs are
different than a lot of people. I have
studied the Bible, have studied people,
have studied my sins, and my behaviors.
I’ve learned what God and myself can
live with because that’s our personal
relationship. So, I do sing gospel in my
mind and in my heart. The Bible doesn’t
only talk about your spiritual needs. It
talks about your physical needs, the
needs of your heart, and things like
that. When you constantly call yourself
a spiritual being, and you’re not a
spiritual being, you’re going to fall
short. Everybody talking ’bout ‘I’m not
of the flesh, I’m not of the flesh’.
Well, I’m of the flesh!”
Part 0f Howard’s story is having
grown up in a household where
homosexuality was being practiced. This
subject was far more taboo in the 60s
than it is today. Couple that with the
fact that her mother was a lesbian
gospel singer and one can begin to
understand why she may be torn about her
relationship with gospel music. But
she’s not only shunning singing “for the
Lord,” she’s shunning performing secular
concerts as well. She tells Lee that she
would much rather be doing something on
television.
“Promoters are very unkind these
days, they don’t have a lot of money,
people are just don’t have a lot of
money to spend on going to concerts and
things like that. And I’m certainly not
in the public eye like I used to be. So,
that’s just not my druthers. So I want
to bring the audience to me instead of
going to the audience. I love TV. I
understand it and that’s what I really
want to do right now.”
She told s2smagazine.com that her TV
show is currently in development, and
it’s based around her relationship with
her sisters played by Kelita Smith and
Bernadette Stanis.
And just how confident is Howard in
her chances at landing a television
deal?
“Honey, they’re as good as anybody
else’s. Shoot, you keep looking out for
me and tell me how good my chances are.”
In watching the “Unsung” episode it
became apparent that Miki Howard craved
love. As beautiful as she was as a young
woman, she reminded Mr. Bailey that she
was pretty naïve back then when it came
to men.
“You’ve known me since I was 16, 17
years old, Lee. You had your cassette
player way back then,” said Howard.
“Most people, at that age, are out going
on dates and they’re learning about men
and boys and things like that. I was
learning about singing, I was learning
the music business and I didn’t have the
opportunity to learn the things that you
should learn. I lost my mom at 18 years
old and the show says it was later, but
it was 18. She put me out by the time I
was 16. So, there was no parent to tell
me. Besides that I grew up in a
completely gay environment. So, I had no
idea about men. I knew nothing! When I
tell you nothing, I mean nothing. I just
put them on a pedestal and held them in
high esteem, whether they deserved it or
not. That’s not a good thing, so I had
to learn the hard way that you don’t
cast your pearls among swine. There are
men that are swine and, most likely,
they’re the first ones that come up.
When you don’t have a lot of time and
you don’t have a lot of knowledge you
kind of go with the first Joe. ‘Hey you
like me, you love me? Ok, let’s do
this!’ I didn’t go to the movies, smooch
in a theater or fondle in the backseat
of a car. I didn’t do any of those
things that teenagers are supposed to do
in learning about your sexuality. So, in
all of my 20s and early 30s I made
serious mistakes with men.”
Howard was discovered by Augie
Johnson of the group Side Effect. She
sang vocals on some of their greatest
hits. Though Augie’s testimony on
“Unsung” paints one picture, Miki tells
EURweb.com of a slightly different one.
“Augie Johnson,” said Howard as if
making a grand announcement. “He held on
to me until I was 25 and he wasn’t
righteous in terms of being a man, but
he was a fanstatic mentor in terms of
show business.”
Even though she and Johnson ended up
having two kids together, he wouldn’t
marry her. However, Miki credits him for
showing her the ropes of the industry,
but still feels he took advantage of
her. Despite that she says she holds no
grudges.
“Doesn’t everybody take advantage of
people that don’t know anything and they
have the upper hand? Even if you don’t
mean to, sometimes you just do,” said
Howard. “I don’t want to put anything
bad on anybody. We all pay the same
wages, the wages of sin are death. I’m
still here, I got two great kids out of
the relationship with Augie, a great
career and it was not anybody’s fault.
It just happened!”
Eventually Howard did get married to
a guy named Eddie Phelps and boy was
that ever a wrong move. It was such a
bad situation that she completely
blocked a lot of it out of her mind. But
in speaking with the producers of
Unsung, a lot of the ugly memories came
flooding back.
“They asked me things I forgot had
happened. When I was married to this guy
we used to have horrible fights and they
reminded me that he tried to hang me.”
There are some things we couldn’t
mention for the sake of space, but let’s
just say Gerald Levert played a
prominent role in her career, her life,
and her recovery from the abyss of drug
abuse.
“He gave me more life with his
death,” Miki said. “He always wanted me
to stay in the game and it just made me
want to be better and not disappoint
him.”
“Unsung” featuring Miki Howard airs
tonight, November 1, at 10pm Eastern on
TV One